15 - Smiling at the Man in the Moon

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My most recent concussion, the one I am still recovering from, happened in May 2015. That summer was astronomical - literally! In July we had a blue moon. This is what the second full moon in any month is called. Did you know that the length of the month in the 12-month calendar is based on the moon cycle? So generally there is only one full moon a month! Two full moons in one month doesn’t happen often. Hence the saying for something rare “Once in a blue moon.” Now you know!

Want more cool 2015 moon facts?? Well you’re going to get them!

The month of September in 2015 also sported two cool moon events. On September 13th, in my region, we got a partial solar eclipse. What kind of eclipse is that, you ask? I mix them up all the time, so I looked it up! A solar eclipse is when the moon comes into orbit between the Earth and the sun. Because the moon is blocking our view of the sun, the moon casts a shadow on the Earth. In my region, it was a “partial eclipse” meaning the moon did not block the sun in full from our point of view (plus I think it happened at night in my region when the sun wasn’t up anyway). In regions experiencing the full eclipse, it gets dark like nighttime during the day and the moon apparently looks like it’s got a ring around it. Nocturnal animals are all like “Daaamnnn…that was a short sleep…” and daytime animals be all like “But I don’t wanna go to bed!!!” (or, so I imagine…)

But what about the second cool moon event that September? Are you ready for this?? Because it was the moon event of the decade! 

On September 27th, 2015, there was a total lunar eclipse. This is when the Earth casts a shadow on the moon because the Earth is caught directly between the moon and the sun. You see this at night, like the moon is slowly being covered up. But this wasn’t just any lunar eclipse - it was also a supermoon and a blood moon!! Say what?!? Let me share with you what fun moon science I learned that September:

A supermoon happens once a year when the moon is in orbit at its closest to the Earth - it’s like the moon gets up close and personal with us, right in Earth’s grill. So the moon appears to us the biggest it’s looked all year. 

And the blood part? Well right at the point of the total eclipse, when the Earth’s shadow was fully cast on this big ass moon, the moon turns an orangey, copper red colour. For reals!

But wait! There’s more to this super-blood-total lunar eclipse! CAN YOU HANDLE IT?!? This full moon on September 27th was also the first after the fall equinox (in the Northern Hemisphere). This first full fall moon is also called the harvest moon. Several days in a row around this time of year, the moon rises sooner than usual - it rises as the sun is setting so you can see it at dusk! This makes for noticeably brighter nights, something farmers may take advantage of, working later into the night, harvesting their crops. Hence the name harvest moon.

So let’s put that all together! The moon on September 27th 2015 was a FULL-SUPER-BLOOD-HARVEST-LUNAR ECLIPSE. 

Shiiiittt! 

Did you know astronomy could be so cool?!? Have you ever appreciated the moon so much?? Have you ever stopped to really look at the moon and consider all of this? If you’re like how I was pre-concussion, then maybe not…

I love science and learning. I always have. In fact Bill Nye the Science Guy was one of my teenage role models. And yes, pre-concussion I did sometimes stop my regular every day hustle and bustle to take notice of such certain celestial events. I remember earlier that year in the winter, driving outside the city limits to try and get a view on a night with high potential of seeing Northern Lights. But, even that was kind of rushed and I think I gave up pretty quickly. 

Post-concussion, I’ve taken notice and have more appreciation for these natural events that happen every year, that I otherwise didn’t have time for, busy with work, training for climbing, over scheduling myself, etc. Not that there’s anything wrong with working, training hard and keeping a vibrant social calendar - what would I give to be able to do those things again! But with all that taken away from me, due to the concussion, my choices have been to either wallow in my own self-pity or enjoy the day-to-day things I can. Now don’t get me wrong, I do partake in a good wallow from time to time.  But there’s something wonderful about noticing the buds on the trees at the beginning of spring; the smell of the different lilacs in May; the feeling of fresh cut grass between my toes in the summer; all the stages of leaves changing colour in the fall; my excitement at the first fluffy snowfall (ok, this one though hasn’t changed since I was a kid; even as an adult with full brain power, I would run outside and frolic with Bob at the sight of the first fluffy snow flurry). And yes, I certainly do enjoy the colours of the sky at sunrise and sunset and looking for the face of the man in the moon.

Considering all the lunar excitement from July to September 2015, it doesn’t surprise me looking back that I was inspired to write a song called “Smiling at the man in the moon”. This was the first song I think I’ve ever truly written. That summer, I had also come across the jazz singer Melody Gardot, who I referred to in a previous blog post. Hearing how music had been a form of therapy for her opened my mind to this form of creativity. 

One late summer night in 2015, sitting outside with Bob, crying, I looked up at the moon. I didn’t plan it; I didn’t decide to write a song in that moment. Just simply words and a bit of a tune came out. I went inside, wrote down the lyrics and recorded a video of my untrained voice singing my very first original song:

Smiling at the man in the moon (I can)

I can’t drive my car

I can’t go visit my friends

But I can count the stars

I know on the mend

Smiling at the man in the moon

Smiling at the man in the moon

I can’t go for a jog

Or run with my dog

But I can walk and play

A very timid way

I hope I get better soon

I hope I get better soon

It’s not an easy way to live

Depending on others to give

It’s not an easy way to be

Struggling to be happy

I can’t ride my bike

I’d like to go for a hike

But then I’d trip and fall

Another doctor to call

It’s been like this since June

It’s been like this since June

I can’t work at my job

Or look at any screen

But I have my Bob

He makes my day so sweet

I hope I get better soon

I hope I get better soon

I must learn to be strong

So this doesn’t go on for long

I must learn some gratitude

To improve my attitude

I can draw some art

Turn on the radio

I can cook ’til it’s dark

I’ll be my own hero

I will get better soon

Humming to lovely tune

Dancing in the light of the moon

I hope to see all you soon

I wasn’t sure I’d ever share this video. It’s a really vulnerable thing and a part of me feels a bit embarrassed. But if it entertains or helps at least one person to find their own creativity (you don’t have to be good at art or music to participate in art and music) then sharing my low quality recording will have been worth it :)

Looking back, what honestly strikes me most about this video is how short my hair was! My hair is currently long, the ends reach at least 2 inches below my collar bone. This is a drastic change compared to my short locks that barely brushed my cheekbones in the video. 

I know commenting on my hair sounds superficial or like a product of the patriarchal influence on women’s preoccupation with appearance. (Down with the patriarchy, amiright??) But to me, my hair is less a measure of my look and more a measure of time. Looking at myself in that video looking so different, it feels like forever ago. Or like I’m looking at a different person. I kind of both laugh and shudder at the lyric “I hope I get better soon.” 

If my difference in hair length is any indication of how long I’ve been dealing with this concussion, then that hope was seemingly futile. Whether or not this is true, or just pure pessimism, I can acknowledge that I am in fact a different person from the Krystal in that video. With or without the brain injury, whether I would have recovered sooner, I would still be a different person today having lived different experiences. 

Even though I am still limited today by some of the same struggles the Krystal in that video faced, I do also acknowledge that what I can do has changed, that I have since then made vast improvements. I CAN now drive. I CAN ride a bike. I CAN go visit my friends. I may not be able to do these things all the time anytime. But I can do these things sometimes, which is still more than short-haired Krystal, three years ago, who couldn’t do these things at all. 

I do still hope to get better, but I can also appreciate where I’m at. I may physically be able to do more, but I’m also mentally and emotionally able to enjoy more what I’ve got. Short-haired Krystal reminded me of this. When looking for the strength to get through, I CAN be my own hero. Courageous enough to write a song, brave enough to share it on the internet. 

So it has been many moons that I have been struggling with, dealing with, and managing my PCS. And there are many more cool moons to come. So, I might as well enjoy what I can of it, which includes smiling at the man in the moon… or the woman in the moon or any other gender in the moon for that fact… who says it has to be a man anyways? (Down with the patriarchy, amiright?!?) 

Regardless of your moon identity, may your brain feel good more often than once in a blue moon.

Best in brain health,

- Krystal

Hey, so what did you think?  If you liked this and know of someone else who may also like it, feel free to share it!  Send a link.  Post it on social media.  Get out a megaphone and proclaim to the people around you “This hat is a helmet” and see how many people are interested… I don’t know how you share things, but thank you if you do :)

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